Welcome to another edition of Purple Night Lights, a place to spotlight writers of erotica. We will have intimate conversations about sex, love and writing about it. Today our guest is poet Rae Monet, author of ‘The Bedroom Companion’. Let’s do this.
LL: How did you get into writing erotic poetry?
RM: When I was a child, I suffered through sexual abuse from multiple angles. The bulk of which, was from older children. Poetry was my escape. It was my way to get my feelings out of my system and help me deal with what was going on. As I grew into my body and subsequently, my hormones, I began wanting sex all on my own. Once I began to write out these sexual fantasies, I also realized that my subconscious was bleeding all over the page. I noticed that I have more to teach and more to share than a few randy fantasies; the reality of these sexual interactions would not let me rest. As I kept writing it became obvious that I should be helping people to deal with their sexual history. It became obvious that God was leading me to help others.
I know what you’re thinking. God? Honestly, yes. I wholeheartedly believe that God wants me to help others overcome. I believe it’s the reason for my past; the purpose of my struggle.
LL: Do you put a little of your sex life in your poems?
RM: Of course! Writers tend to write what they know, so there is a good amount of imagery that comes from my personal life, however, my poems are never directly about any one person. As a poet, it’s important to make each poem as accessible to as many people as possible. You want to make it broad enough that people can make the connection in their own lives, but specific enough that the message does not get lost.
LL: How do you do your research?
RM: The old-fashioned way! LOL! Just kidding! I’m a reader, so I read books on sexual education. I read academic papers that examine the psychology of sexuality. I also scour sexual education syllabi from many different school districts so that I can create my own sex education program in the future.
LL: Tell us about ‘The Bedroom Companion’ and who or what inspired you to write it?
RM: The Bedroom Companion is a collection of poems that are aimed at people who are already sexually active. Each of the poems conjures a memory and an emotion, often competing. So, while you might have a ‘happy’ sexual memory, you may also be reminded of the emotional toll that empty and unfulfilling sexual relationships can take.
The Bedroom Companion includes a quick overview of the 5 senses as well. I want to improve people’s sex lives, not just open old wounds and leave them exposed, so I have included tips on how to stimulate the senses to heighten one’s sexual experiences as well.
LL: Do you ever get negative or unwanted attention because of the genre you have chosen? How do you deal with it?
RM: I have gone through many ‘phases’ in my life. There have been times that I received unwarranted attention, but during that time in my life I carried myself differently. I was putting out the vibe that I MIGHT be interested in those types of things. Nowadays, I carry myself differently. I make it a point to dress professionally when I’m speaking, so that I’m taken as more of an expert than a “nasty novice.” I have only had men speak ill toward me; trying to bed me because they only interpreted my message through their “lower brain.” I have not yet encountered any women who are not understanding of what I am trying to accomplish. When they hear my poems they know. They immediately recognize where I’m coming from and they often praise my attempts at helping others.
LL: Who is the one writer that has influenced you the most in the genre and what is your favorite work by them?
RM: As far as erotic writers go, Jessica Holter of the Punany Poets and Zane, author of The Sex Chronicles are both large influences on me, as far as the genre goes. I first saw Jessica on “Real Sex,” an old show on HBO. When I saw her poetry collective performing erotic works, a lightbulb went off in my head! I never knew that I could get paid for doing what I love, but it was that moment that I made the decision about my life.
Years later, Zane’s books hit the national stage and I was sold! Here was a black woman, from my area, who was doing exactly what I wanted to do! It became even more real. Reading her book, I saw that I didn’t have to write a normal novel. It showed me that there’s an audience for everything and that all I need to do is find my niche and stick to it.
LL: What is your take on the sensual poetry scenes? Do you do live readings/events?
RM: I am always performing! I schedule at least 3 performances per month for non-profit or corporate events. I hit open mics every chance that I get. Unfortunately, with technology, books (and reading as a hobby) are becoming a thing of the past. So, to sell more books I perform. Once people HEAR what I offer, they usually purchase a book or at the very least, they follow me on my social media accounts, which is also a huge help.
I read at lots of women’s events. Usually they are not sex-centric events, so many people are shocked and surprised that such a sweet-looking girl would say such vile things from her mouth. But the surprise is also what they love. It’s something new and different and the room usually has a whole new energy once I perform. People loosen up. And I don’t know if it’s because of me and my playful nature or if it’s because of the rawness and duality of the poems. I stand up in a room full of strangers and I bare parts of my soul to them. I think that people like the vulnerability of it all. They like knowing that they’re not the only one who feels the way that they do.
LL: What is your ultimate goal for your writing?
RM: My ultimate goal is to live off of my writing full time. I am working on my non-profit, Suzie’s K.I.D.S. (Keeping Informed, Decisive, and Selective) and would like to develop a sexual education program that enhances the education of both the children and their parents. I believe that it is paramount that children speak to their parents and they have an open dialogue about sex.
One of the largest complaints about sexual education in schools is that parents think it may derail their in-home teachings. I think that if we involve the parents in the sexual education process fully, that it will remove those doubts. Homework should include talking about your religion and how it views sexual activity. Assignments should include talking to your parents and older siblings. I want to involve everyone.
Additionally, parents are not sex wizards! Just because you have a child does not mean that you know EVERYTHING there is to know about sex. It’s also a part of the reason that sex education fails; parents are aware that they have no clue what to tell their child or when. Fear is created from ignorance and breeds misinformation. I want to stop this cycle and educate everyone so that they can make the best choices for their individual lives.
Man, I could talk about this all day, but for now, next question…
LL: What is your favorite sex position to write about in your poems?
RM: What a great question! Honestly, this one stumped me for a while and I needed to scan back through my books to give an answer. After taking a look, I’ve found that there is no particular position that I write about. I tend to lead readers to fill-in-the-blanks with their own personal memories. For example, in my poem ‘Urgent Urges,’ from The Birds, the Bees, and the Boudoir, I say:
“…because I need to feel it in my spine,
tingling all over me,
now I can feel him on my skin,
my neck, breasts, and within,
pushing tugging thrusting busting
until we reach an end and I say goodbye to him,
but call him up whenever these urgent urges kick in.”
It’s vague, yes. But you can insert your own memories here. As I said before, you want to make it broad enough that people can make the connection in their own lives, but specific enough that the message does not get lost.
LL: Are you a fan of toys?
RM: Oh yes, I am a big fan of toys! I am a big believer in self-exploration. You need to know and explore your body so that you know what feels good to you, what you like (or don’t), as well as where your pleasure zones are located. After all, if you don’t know how to take care of yourself, how will your lover know how to please you?
Toys can also be a great way to mix it up in the bedroom with your partner. It can enhance the feeling that you get from sex and can even assist women in discovering their ability to be multi-orgasmic.
While I am a fan, I stress that overuse of toys is not ideal. When you use a toy too often and in the same position, it dulls the feeling and, over time, can change the way that your receptors interpret pleasure. So have at it! Just not too much!
LL: What is your favorite sub-genre of erotica to read?
RM: I tend to read a bit of everything, so there is no specific sub-genre that I stick to most.
LL: When does the kink go too far in your opinion?
RM: If both partners are giving consent, the limits lie only where they define them. If two people want to skydive while having sex, they can. If they want to peg each other, cool with me. If no one is forcing anyone else to participate in their sexual acts, I’m all good. Do what you want and anything you can imagine. While Harriet the Housewife may only be into the missionary position, her sister may be into S&M. Her mom may be a Furry. Her best friend might be into cuckholding. Everyone is different. In my opinion, it only goes too far when both people have not fully and truly communicated their feelings, preferences, and consent with each other. Anytime that one of those elements is missing, it’s a recipe for disaster.
LL: Describe your writing process?
RM: Here I go, bringing God into things again! My ideas pop out of nowhere. The angels of inspiration come down for a visit and pour out these words onto paper. I often keep writing until the inspiration leaves me. I rarely struggle to find an end to a poem. Usually the thought has a natural progression and will end itself.
Writing books is a whole different animal. It requires patience and lots of editing. First, I compile my poems under the theme of the book. I put them into one file and order them according to the flow of the work. Then I begin reading and re-reading my poems to edit. I would say that I read every poem at least 7-10 times before putting it out to market. This ensures that I’m sending the message I want to send and that the poem also is formatted to look the way I want it to look on the page. The white spaces of a page are just as important to poetry as the words that fill them.
After extensive editing, I add my table of contents, copyright information, intros, outros, photos, and about me pages.
I do EVERYTHING on my own. I have never had a team to support me or lots of friends to do me favors (save the one friend that takes my photos). It takes me some time to put out a new product, which is why I only release one book annually, but it will be a good product. You will never get anything from me that is of poor quality.
LL: What’s next on the agenda for you?
RM: As I just mentioned, I release a new book every year. This year is no different. Each of my books have been released in April so far and I expect that my fourth release will be the same. Other than that, I’m always looking for more performance opportunities so that I can sell books and paintings and spread my message of sexual education and empowerment.
LL: Have you ever been so turned on by a poem you are writing that you needed to stop writing to take care of business?
RM: Because of the way my inspiration is set up, no, I have not stopped writing to handle things. However, once I put that pen down….. Hahaha. But my stream of consciousness needs to be emptied before I move onto the next thing or the thought will be lost forever.
Thanks so much for having me on Purple Night Lights! I appreciate the exposure.
Poet RaeMonet, author of ‘The Birds, the Bees, and the Boudoir,’ dynamically delivers steamy erotic poetry to combat an outrageous lack of sexual education in America. Her poetry is straight-to-the-point, but reminds readers and listeners alike of the serious need for sexual education. As a victim of sexual assault and a self-proclaimed “sexual activist,” it was important to Rae to release a product that held closely with her personal beliefs.
Since the first edition release of ‘The Birds, the Bees, and the Boudoir’ in April 2014, Rae has begun laying the groundwork for her own sexual education Non-Profit Organization, Suzie’s K.I.D.S. (Keeping Informed, Decisive, and Selective). She has plans to release many additional books; Spoken But Unheard, Before You Were Born, and an educational children’s book series. The second edition of The Birds, the Bees, and the Boudoir was released April 30, 2015 and is available online now with Amazon.
@PoetRaeMonet on ALL social media sites.
To purchase her books on Amazon click here!